I love heels. At one point I had about 150 something pairs of heals (I kid you not. Ask my momsie if you do not believe me).
Like thousands of women out there I love shoes, especially those ankle breaking high monstrosities(I am going to hate on them so as to sooth my heart). It was heart breaking when my feet stopped accommodating high heals. I could no longer walk in them. Heck I could no longer walk. The pain had gotten worse!!!.
I remember queueing at a Subway one day(I have a love hate relationship with Subway.. I love their sandwiches but my wallet and hips hates them.) Anyhu as I was standing there perfectly minding my own business and thinking about what sandwich to order, even though I always always……… order the same sub, I fell.
Yes ooooohhh I don’t deh fall down sha!!!!. My legs gave in and I found myself examining their floor, which was really clean.
It took a while for me to compose myself. Now you might call this karma and truth be told it is because I’m one of those people that laugh(kindani) when I see someone fall, so naturally I had to laugh at myself. For a minute people around me thought I had escaped from a mental institution where it not for the fact that I looked prime and proper(I’m not saying that mad people don’t look good, I mean I looked like reeeeeeeeeeally good!!). I was glad to make it back home safe and sound but that episode scared my mama. Every time I went out she would call me every 5 minutes to check up on me. Big old me turned into a child in what seemed like overnight.
I could no longer wear my heals!!!!!!
I could no longer walk around without having to worry about the state of my legs. The pain was becoming unbearable. Every single step felt like I was walking on pins and needles.
When I finally could not take it, I called my personal physician who made sure I got an appointment with a neurologist. A week before the appointment I was admitted.
I remember that day like it was yesterday. I was in my room watching series when my bladder decided it needed to be emptied. When I got out of bed to “walk” to the bathroom, I collapsed.
I COULD NOT WALK!!!!
I lifted myself up, sat on my bed and tried to stand up and again my feet failed me. I called my mom from downstairs and asked her to come help me go susu. She did not understand why I needed help getting to the bathroom.
“MAMMIE SIWEZI TEMBEA”(mom I cannot walk)!!! I kept shouting that as she walked up the stairs. She tried to lift me up and since I was dead weight I fell. She tried it again and this time around we both fell. Tears turned into laughter and laughter turned into panic. After a few minutes we called my brother who arrived 20 minutes later. My little bother carried me like a little baby to the bathroom. This man that I used to bath when he was little was now carrying me to go susu………… Me Salome had to rely on my little brother just to go pee!!
1 doctor, 5 medics, a whole loooooooot of tears and laughter later I was at Martini Hospital, admitted at the Neurology wing. The pain I was experiencing was so intense that I could not cry anymore… I was out of tears. All I could do was laugh. Every touch, movement, poke or pinch was met with laughter. Now I know I’m crazy but I had to explain to the doctors that I had been in so much pain and cried soo sooooooo much that I was out of tears. The only reaction I could conjure up was laughter.
I was laughing!!!. It seemed odd but here I was laughing. I was laughing because FINALLY my pain was going to be acknowledged. Someone was going to perform tests on me. I was going to be probed and poked. I wanted to be poked and probed!!!!!! I wanted someone to tell me what was wrong with me.
I had cried enough!!! It was enough!!!
I had no more tears left…..
My tears had turned into laughter.